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Wicca 101 / FAQ - How does one become Wiccan?

Recently I was asked the following question:

I feel an attraction to Wicca, and the God and Goddess, and I really want to go ahead and become Wiccan. But I just don't really know how? I've asked every Wiccan I've came across, and they've either been a Hard-Gard and said I had to be initiated, or a fluff bunny, who I know I can't believe. How do I become Wiccan?

I find this question, in many slight variations, constantly being asked today. Sometimes it's by total Fluff Bunnies looking to get in on what they see as the newest fad, but it's also a question often asked by the truly interested. In many cases it may be an issue of missing the forest for the trees: one becomes so focused on being a part of something that truly calls to them they perhaps lose sight of why it called in the first place.

First, I need to be absolutely clear on a point. Wicca is a religion. It is not a club or an organization. There are no membership cards and no dues (unless you work with a group, in which case you'll probably be expected to help cover the cost of materials). There is no pope or council determining who is a Wiccan and who is not. Each of us, whether we are a Hard-Gard ("If it ain't Gardnerian, it ain't Wicca"), or an academically minded Eclectic, can argue until we're blue in the face as to the proper definition of Wicca, how we choose to use the word and who we consider to be included within the term, but we can't for a moment stop you from believing whatever it is you believe. We don't have possession of our gods. We can't say "No, she's my goddess. You can't worship her," although we might object that certain approaches are incorrect, poorly founded or contrary to the nature of the goddess in question.

So the first counter-question would be: when you are looking to become Wiccan, are you looking for a belief, or are you looking for a title ("Wiccan") and a membership? Or have you perhaps confused the two just a bit and started to believe that the belief somehow is communicated with a title? This is not an offhanded question. If you want to pursue religion - any religion - you need to understand your own goals and desires. Otherwise, you'll never realize them.

Wicca is not a spectator religion. While there is structure to what we do (the details of which are part of what defines Wicca as its own entity), it is not a rigid system of rules and requirements. Western society expects everything to come in neat little packages with easy-to-follow instructions, right down to our religion, and that's not what Wicca delivers. Wicca is esoteric: it is a path for finding truth rather than having truth dictated to us. There's a terrible number of people who have been led to believe that Wicca should say "perform the tree meditation twice a day, pray to the full moon, and leave an food offering outside your door every night and you will know the god and goddess (in 30 days guaranteed or your money back)." No honest Wiccan can (or will) offer that.

So while I cannot hand out a handy how-to guide, I can offer some general recommendations to those interested in following a Wiccan path. Ironically, I'll even break it down into an orderly list.

1. Answer the following questions:
   1. Why are you interested in Wicca? This requires two things. First, a working definition of Wicca. If you think you want to be Wiccan but can only define Wicca as "anything you want it to be," apparently you don't want to be Wiccan anymore than you want to be a poodle or a cheesehead. Second, you need some understanding of your own beliefs. If you have no beliefs then Wicca, in your mind, is no closer to the truth than Christianity, Hinduism, or Scientology. Try to be specific. "It makes sense," doesn't offer any clarity. What about it makes sense? And avoid negatives such as "I don't believe in Jesus." Not believing in Jesus makes you a non-Christian. It does not make you a Wiccan.
   2. Why do you believe what you believe? This question stumps an astounding number of people. Society has practically conditioned us to accept "I read it in a book," as an acceptable answer. Books have authors. Authors are human. Humans are imperfect. Just because something is in a book doesn't make it right. Not being able to provide a good answer doesn't necessarily mean Wicca is not for you. It does, however, at least illustrate where you need to be immediately focusing your attention. Blind belief is unhealthy.
   3. Why do you do what you do? Ritual without meaning is pointless. The ritual itself does nothing. The world will not end if we stop performing our rituals. There should be purpose to everything we do. If you cast a circle because "that's what Wiccans do at the start of a ritual," you're only going through the motions without accomplishing anything. There's a reason we cast circles as well as everything else we do.
2. Read, read, read. Read more. Understand why authors say the things they do and decide whether you agree with them. There will be contradictions. You will need to seek your own answers on those matters. Just because two authors give two different ways to cast circles doesn't necessarily mean one of them is wrong. Rituals are often published because they are useful for many people. That doesn't guarantee a particular ritual is effective for you, although you should endeavor to discover why it works for other people before discounting it.
3. Here's some things for you not to do:
   1. Don't rush. Wicca isn't going anywhere, and there is no race for enlightenment.
   2. Don't turn Wicca into a collectable game. Working tools are important and hold great symbolism and meaning...but only if you understand the symbolism and meaning. So many books devote so much time to tools and other accouterments that Wiccans are frequently left with the impression that better tools make one a better Wiccan. They don't.
   3. Don't accept anything blindly. If something doesn't make sense, research it. There's a lot of very silly ideas out there, half of which should be discernible by common sense. (No, I can't throw a refrigerator with my mind. Thanks for asking. No, my rituals were not handed down by illiterate cavemen either.) Questioning is good.
   4. Don't try breaking Wicca down into neat and tidy rules. It's counterproductive. You're supposed to be broadening your understandings, not petrifying them into immovable laws.
   5. Don't try to "look" Wiccan. Wiccans don't have a look, nor do they need it. The moment you try for the "look," you've relegated Wicca to a fashion statement.
   6. Don't try to act Wiccan either, for the same reasons.
4. Study minimally for a year and a day - not because the universe will disqualify your Wiccanness (and no, that's not really a word) but because we're talking about embracing a new religion, a new paradigm, a new understanding of the world. You're also eventually going to be pledging yourself to deities, and it's just rude to not go into that seriously. If you need more time, take it. (I studied four or five years before dedicating, and in retrospect that was still too soon for me.)
5. Build a relationship with your deities. For many, this involves a lot of patience. After all, you don't gain a new best-friend overnight. It involves time and effort and an honest rapport. Don't feel you need a name for them immediately either. You are attempting to identify those who have called you. You may identify them by qualities before you can by name. You are not choosing a deity from the god store. Whatever you do, avoid those websites and books that list 200 deities and give a one-sentense description of each. "Catherine Noble Beyer: writer of websites" is an incredibly poor summation of me. Why should we view "Athena: goddess of war of wisdom" as any more helpful? Gods aren't objects. They're beings.
6. Talk to people. Ask questions. The Internet, while being a source of a lot of really bad info, is also a source of answers if you look in the right places. There are a variety of forums and mailing lists out there that contain really helpful and informed people. Seek them out. Be aware that most places will have both good and bad contributors, but spending a little time with them should give you a pretty good picture of who to listen to and who to ignore.

Once you have decided that it's time to formalize your relationship, solitaries generally perform a self-dedication ritual. The purpose is a formal declaration of your devotion to your gods. How you do this is up to you. Some people use elaborate ceremonies while others do little more than cast a circle and meditate. Plenty of sample ceremonies can be found on the web if you're curious as to what other people have done. Above all, however, you must remember that anything you gain here comes from the content and purpose of the ritual, not the ritual itself. If you don't mean what you say or understand what you're doing, then you're just wasting your time with a ceremony.